Finding the energy to leave the comfort of your home can be a daily struggle – but everyone eventually needs to leave their apartment for things like food, friends or going to work. Here are some tips on how to leave your apartment without going, “UGH!” and walking right back inside.
Start listening to a good song BEFORE leaving.
There can be too much to handle outside, from loud construction projects to fast cars, and even the soul-crushing silence of your own thoughts. If you absolutely have to go out there, start listening to one of your favorite songs before exiting the one place you can just chill without putting on a bra or makeup. That way you can go outside and still hate everything, but also enjoy some sweet jams for however long you need before suffering as you’re forced to interact with the real world. Whatever you do, DON’T turn back!
Put on sunglasses no matter the weather.
Throwing on shades can protect your fragile pupils from the sun, but this trick is primarily for keeping you a safe distance from people. They will all be thinking, “Nice sunglasses! But why is she wearing them? It’s raining outside,” or, “Is that girl looking me in the eyes? I can’t tell.” Either of these thoughts are better than anyone trying to talk to you but you’re gonna have to keep walking away from your home regardless.
Try and be positive.
Some things outside of your apartment can be enjoyable, so try and keep a positive attitude about life! Get out there no matter how much you don’t want to, because anything can happen. For example, you could find $20 on the ground or get a free coffee…or meet a new person. Ugh, nevermind. Retreat! Sorry, we failed here!
Go “MEH” instead
You know what? Just go, “MEH” instead of, “UGH!” Using a synonym when you go out into the trash fire of the world is technically a loophole, and therefore okay. Similar expressions such as, “MEH,” “GRRRRR,” or “FOR GOD’S SAKE THIS SUCKS!” will also work if you scream them while running back inside.
If you absolutely must leave the house, try these tips so you can finally get your laundry done. Or don’t. Just stay inside for so long that someday the New York Times does a profile about how your dead body wasn’t found for eight months! That might be easier and less awful. Ugh!