How to Improve Your Morning Routine Even Though You Spent Most of It Falling Into a Manhole

For so many people, the morning is the start of the day. And the way you start your day can really set the tone for the rest of your day and even the rest of your life. That’s why it’s so important to make the most of those moments immediately after you wake up, even if you’ve already lost most of them to the unwitting time you spent under the dark streets of the city. Here’s how to optimize your morning routine even though you already spent so much of your morning falling into a manhole.


Wake up early.

The early bird gets the worm! Unfortunately, getting the worm does not prevent you from falling into a manhole. Especially if you jumped right down it because you thought it was one of those street art things designed to look like a hole, but no, it was really a deep hole leading to the sewers. Still! The most important and effective step to improving your morning is by simply lengthening it. It’s more time in the hole, sure, but it’s also more trauma from your time in the hole.


Wash your face.

Washing your face in the morning is scientifically proven to clean your face, plus the splash of water will help you wake up. Washing your face is also going to be a basic necessity because as you were falling down the manhole, you tried to decrease velocity by pressing your butt against the side of the hole and your hands against the other side, but your arms are so weak, so you just ended up stuck sliding slowly down with your ass and face pushing against the sides of the filthy passageway. Don’t forget to moisturize!



Move your body.

Even if it’s just doing some light stretching, getting the blood flowing through your body will fill you with energy to start your day. In fact, this is perhaps the one way in which that battle against yourself, gravity, and an uncaring God in the manhole may be of service to you! By the time you claw yourself out of that industrial grave, screaming out to passing businessmen to drop down their ties and pull you up to no avail, your heart will be totally pounding! Of course, you were down in the manhole for several hours, and morning is over, and you’re late for work, and you’re covered in sewage. But still!


So spruce up your morning routine with these simple tricks that can’t do anything to save you from the hole! The rest of your day with will thank you.