So your man needs some space. Maybe he wants the freedom to find himself and know who he is as an individual. Maybe he’s feeling stifled by your constant presence and is mourning his independence. Or maybe he just straight-up wants to put his dick in something weird. It doesn’t matter why he’s desperately avoiding commitment – what matters is how you respond, preferably like a very chill girlfriend who has no idea how much she’s being taken for a ride. Here’s how to give him the space he needs to cheat and thrive:
Allow him time to pursue interests outside your relationship, like his personal trainer.
Some women don’t know how to let their boyfriends have their own life, or even do normal guy things, like check Tinder “ironically.” Not you! You’re a chill girlfriend who understands that he may need extra female attention to make him feel spiritually whole, or at least distract him from the trauma of being truly intimate with another person. Give him the freedom to fake-join a gym and sleep with a hot personal trainer or two. His infidelity could take any number of forms, including late-night sexts from a woman named Diva, so be flexible. Remember: If you really love him, set him a little too free.
Funnel all your energy into “rediscovering yourself” and “spying on him”.
As you learn to give your man space, you’ll find you have plenty of time to pursue your own interests. Take some time to Facebook stalk all his female friends from college, creep on his camping trip at the Grand Canyon that might actually just be a romantic getaway for two at the Doubletree down the block, or just enjoy a nice time desperately sobbing into a flask of Bacardi on the subway. These are the kinds of independent, soul-affirming pursuits you certainly wouldn’t have time for if you were hanging with your boyfriend binge-watching House of Cards like some chick with boundaries.
Don’t act all crazy when he completely ruins your life.
Don’t be the clingy girlfriend who harasses her boo with annoying psycho text messages like “My sister’s wedding starts in ten minutes, where the fuck are you?” These sorts of outbursts are certain to drive him away faster than the new motorcycle he bought with your joint checking account even though he wanted to “save up some more money before we even talk about marriage, yo.” And be chill about it when he starts fucking your roommate. He’s doing his best, okay?
But ALWAYS be there to reassure him that you have no idea he’s cheating on you.
Just because you’re giving your man some breathing room so he can give a college chick some hickies doesn’t mean you can just selfishly do your own thing like some single girl. You need to be there when he’s feeling down, and sadly wondering, “What if I never learn to stop chasing pussy?” Bring him pancakes in bed to perfectly communicate just how much you care, and just how goddamn clueless you are. He’ll feel lucky to have a girlfriend as sweet and uniquely oblivious as you.
If you approach this stage of your relationship with sympathy, trust and utter cluelessness, his infidelity may bring the two of you even closer together. Good luck!
