How to Dress 10 Years Younger So He’ll Take You As His Child Bride

As men tend to seek younger and younger women the older they get, it can be hard for an aging woman to find a man who is interested. But there are some simple changes you can make to present yourself as the 20-something child bride your perfect guy has always wanted. So if you’re a woman of a certain age, here are some key style points that will have you dressing young enough that he’ll finally take you as his child bride.


Embrace Color

While wearing black or gray this might help you make a serious impression in the workplace, it is not going to help you snag a 30-something gentleman whose taste in women tends more toward Forever 21. So for older women over 30 – stop blending in with drab, respectable, age appropriate colors and instead spice up your wardrobe with some bright and bold prints. He’ll be asking for your number faster than you can ask, “How has your immaturity become my problem?” Then you can finally be his young and nubile object of desire!


Ditch the Heels

Heels help women look taller, slimmer, and more refined, but for some reason you’ve put it on yourself to appease men who insist on infantilizing women, so do it in some comfortable sneaks girl! Forego heels in favor of something more fun, like a pair of plastic flip-flops or Velcro sneakers that light up when you walk. He’ll be saying, “She looks like someone who’s young enough to not care that I don’t have a job or a personality,” in no time! Total child bride material!



Fun, Flirty Accessories

Little body trinkets are a great way to show him you don’t just have the impossibly nipped and tucked body of an adult teen, but also the personality of one! Fun! Prove you’ve got sass by wrapping your neck in a thin, black, velvet choker. Or show off your spontaneous side with a fun and fresh wrist combination of old hair ties, Silly Bandz, and handmade friendship bracelets.. With such fun accessories, he’ll have no choice but to take you in as his child bride, I guess? Seems like a punishment and not a reward, but if that’s what you want!


So for all you older women out there looking to hold yourself to an impossibly ideal: don’t give up hope. With just a few adjustments, you can find a man who will finally love you for the carefully curated and exhaustingly fun young-seeming person you pretend to be for his benefit!