Make A Fall Cornucopia That He’ll Want to Stick His Dick In

It’s finally fall! Don’t let another November go by without making a beautiful cornucopia that your man to admire so much, he’ll straight-up want to stick his dick in it. Here’s how to fill that horn so well, he won’t be able to resist penetrating that harvest bounty:


Buy a good sturdy cornucopia horn.

You’ll want to pick one with a good wide mouth, so you’ll have plenty of space to fill the horn with harvest goodies. I suggest finding one that looks rustic, yet solid, like it could really take a pounding. Your man will be drawn to the horn’s tight weave and wide opening. Once he’s ramming that thing you’ll finally have your hands free to bake that pie!



Go absolutely crazy in your supermarket’s gourd aisle.

I can’t stress this enough: There is no such thing as too many gourds. And make sure you get gourds of all different shapes, sizes, and colors; contrary to popular belief, men are not just into the skinny gourds. Get long ones, fat ones, and ones with weird bumps! The variety of the gourds will make your man feel like he’s the only man at a gourd orgy. His dick will be nestled in that plentiful haul before you can say, “Try not to get any jizz in there; we have people coming over later!”


Pick a super fun accent piece.

Did you catch your man fucking the turkey last year? We’d recommend adding a small turkey figurine to your centerpiece. Does he have a thing for fantasy? Try two Pilgrims shaking hands with two Native Americans! Your man will appreciate that you made the effort to personalize his cornucopia and know he has your A-okay to go to town on it.



Leaves. Leaves. Leaves.

Get real leaves, get fakes leaves, make leaves out of paper—it does not matter, as long as every inch of free space in your cornucopia is filled with a beautiful reminder of fall foliage. The more you stuff every inch of that hole, the more he’ll realize how good it would feel for him to do so as well. Plus, he’ll have something to wipe up with after. Autumnal bliss!


What’s the fun in making a beautiful cornucopia, without letting your favorite guy stick his dick in it? Add a little spice to the season with a centerpiece that’ll make his turkey gobble.