Whether you’re doing some gardening, landscaping, or clearing a snowy driveway, you’re probably going to find yourself holding a shovel at some point, but how do you make sure that no one thinks you just killed someone and are now trying to hide the evidence? Well, here’s a step-by-step guide on how to casually hold a shovel without looking like a total murderer.
Don’t hold it too tight.
When it comes to holding the shovel, make sure you’re not holding it too tight, like a murderer with a secret would. You want to hold it tight enough to be safe while digging, but don’t have a grip on it that says, “I need to hide this body before sunrise,” or else people might get the wrong idea. ‘Cause obviously you didn’t do that – right?
Make whatever you’re doing super clear.
If you’re planting a flower bed, display the seeds and potting soil outwards to people walking by! If you’re shoveling snow, create a big pile of it beside you! Whatever you’re doing, just make sure it’s super clear to everyone around you that you aren’t digging a body-sized hole in the ground — because murderers famously don’t let people know what they’re up to.
Smile (NATURALLY).
A nice smile can make anyone feel at ease, as long as it’s not too forced. If someone passes by you in your front yard, try to smile and wave at them in a gentle, natural way. But just remember: if it looks too forced, someone might call the cops. Which wouldn’t be a problem, obviously, since you didn’t murder anyone.
Don’t murder someone.
This one might seem obvious, but worth mentioning! Please don’t murder someone and try to hide the body.
So if you’re going to use a shovel but you don’t want anyone to think you’re hiding a corpse, then try using these tips to casually hold a shovel without looking like a murderer. And if you’re actually a murderer who’s reading this to fly under the radar, then please stop killing people! But to everyone else: happy shoveling!
