How to Better Describe His Dick’s Mouthfeel

Maybe you’re out with your female peers and are at a loss for another way to paint a picture of your lover’s dick for them. Maybe you’re in the heat of passion with your lover, praising his member, and you’re coming up short on proper descriptors. You know his dick’s taste is woody with top notes of apple, but there must be something else to say about it – the taxonomy of mouthfeel! Like any tasting, you want to remember the experience of his dick in all its complexity. Here are some labels to put on his shaft the next time you want to give it the proper referral.


Smoothness & Texture

How does his dick slide over your tongue? Is it creamy or soupy? Is it opulent, rich, waxy, velvety, or viscous? Are there any lumps or bumps in the product? If so, it may be worth warning others off of. But buyer beware: If you thought the demand for smooth wines was high, just imagine how many will want his smooth, satiny dick once they hear about it. This vintage may be worth keeping to yourself.


Complexity & Mouthcoating

How does your palate feel after you’ve pleasured him to completion? Soft? Supple? Does it feel as though a fat or oil has been rendered? Is there a richness there? All of these descriptors can be used to describe his dick’s complexity.




To what degree is his dick uniform throughout? Does the head feel smooth and clean, while the base of the shaft is contaminated with impurities such as hair? Make note of differences over the course of consumption.



Does his dick have an herbaceous, astringent feel, or is it more sweet? Does it leave a lingering bitterness in your mouth after you’ve had it there? Identifying the dryness level of his dick helps you identify what level of dryness you would prefer in future dicks.


There is more to his dick than just the look, taste, and aroma. Become one of the best dick tasters around – a dongelier if you will – with these assessments of mouthfeel! You’ll be the most popular one at your next dick tasting!