When getting into a romantic relationship, it’s important to find someone who really sees and loves you for who you are. The quickest and easiest way to do that is by dating the one person who actually made it to the end of your Instagram story. Here’s how:
Only entertain relationships with people who are willing to put in the effort.
Why waste your time on someone who hasn’t even viewed your first Instagram story (the one you posted in hopes that they, specifically, would see it and compliment your taste in music), when you could date the only person who dutifully slogged through your countless other stories dedicated to discussing the cultural impact of the Twilight saga? Don’t date someone for their potential (saying it’s actually cool how you only listen to new Maroon 5), date someone who actually shows up (quietly watches your stories and learns how “Hold on tight, spider monkey” completely shaped your tween years).
Put other love interests out of your mind.
Does your other crush follow you on Instagram? Yeah? Did they make it to the end of your 13-tap Instagram story from when you went to the aquarium last weekend? That’s what we thought. Keep it moving, babe – straight into the arms of the only person who did. Your other crush didn’t even vote on your poll asking whether or not you should get 12 freshwater eels tattooed down your spine, while the person who always makes it to the end of your stories immediately voted no. See, they’re already looking out for you!
Check to see who made it to the end of your story.
Now, for the moment of truth: you posted 20 Instagram stories in the span of 15 minutes, and the views are flooding in (and then slowly petering out with each consecutive story as people abandon ship). The last story – the one that reads: “if you made it this far we’re legally obligated to kiss :-P” – only has one view. You click to see who it is and – David from high school? What the fuck? You’ve never even spoken before. That’s super weird and stalkerish, should you maybe consider blocking him? Nope! Ask him out on a date to the aquarium.
There you have it: some quick and easy tips to get into a relationship with someone who truly sees you by watching all of your Instagram stories. Sure, maybe it’s off-putting that he’s been consistently monitoring your social media quietly for years, but David from high school is actually really nice and you should give him a chan– oh, wait, your crush just responded “Maroon 5 lol?” to your first Instagram story! They probably get the gist of who you are from that – definitely date them instead.
