All women are hot in some capacity. However, some women are hot enough to receive praise for keeping themselves alive. Fortunately, you can learn how to look this good too! Here’s how to be so hot the necessary act of eating makes you relatable.
Be the weight of a fondant cake topper.
There’s only one way to be hot enough people see you eating and think, “Omg SAME!” and that’s being the weight of a fondant cake topper. If you weigh more, they may see you eating and think, “No,” or even worse, “Brave!” That’s why you must simply become the half-ounce weight of a sugar flower without actually dieting. If you diet, people may think, “Shame!” so simply become the fondant. It’s that easy!
Get paid to be this weight.
Once you have become fondant-sized, get paid to be this weight. Find a man with a camera or a multi-million dollar agency with many cameras, and have them pay you money to stay this weight for a long time while they take pictures of you. This guarantees that your eating, in order to stay alive, becomes a source of acclaim. Bonus tip: also like eating cake. Your enjoyment of dessert will become a life preserver of relatability to which people will cling. Wow, so sweet!
Ensure nothing else about you is relatable.
To make the act of eating your most relatable quality, ensure nothing else about you is relatable. You should be a gorgeous fondant flower, get paid for it and also own at least 11 different properties or a pink leather suit or even have a celebrity boyfriend who maybe sings or throws a ball. Once 100% of your life is unachievable to the average human, revealing you eat cheese should make even the most seasoned journalist weep as they whisper, “She’s just like us…”
Melt in the sun.
Now that you’ve become a fondant decoration, melt in the sun. You may be on top of the world and also a cake. However, death comes for all of us and nothing could be more relatable than that!
Being so hot that people get excited when you eat isn’t just for celebrities. You can achieve the same reaction to intaking calories yourself as long as you follow this guide, and are also able to completely transform into a different object!
