How I Get It Done: I Simply Don’t

A lot of people ask me how I manage to do it all. And usually, I just smile and wink. But the simple trick to getting it all done is that I simply don’t. In reality, I pay other people to do some of it, and the rest I just ignore until it until it goes away.


It’s that simple. I highly recommend it.


First, I make a list of things I need to get done. For all the things that my husband, nanny, children, a Task Rabbit, or a friend who’s kind of a sucker can do, I politely ask them to figure it out for me. And anything that looks too scary or involves writing a physical check, showing genuine empathy, or going to the post office, I just kind of…push away. I actually literally push away my list from my line of sight and it’s like it never existed.


And that’s how I get things done!


Sure, my credit score is “dangerously low” and my remaining friendships are very toxic, but if you met me in a business setting, you’d see I am wearing a very nice suit and have two beautiful children and you’d be absolutely sure that I am a person who gets things done. This will inevitably lead you to ask, “How on Earth does she do it all?” And hopefully my answer will comfort you! I absolutely fucking don’t.


Sometimes when someone asks me to do something I curl up in a ball and cry and then they just kind of leave.


You might look at my resume and wonder how I’ve achieved all I did before age 30. And you know what? I did it not at all on my own. You would never know that though, because I would never put that on my resume. It takes a lot of smarts to avoid doing this many simple tasks.



So if you’re wondering how I got an executive-level job at age 27, two kids and a husband, rest assured that I did absolutely nothing to deserve it. Except for this suit! I actually shopped online pretty hard for this suit and people really seem to like it. Other people around me cannot afford vintage Chanel so I think it really sets me apart.


Good luck getting it done out there, ladies! I’ll just be playing Candy Crush at work!