Maintaining a stable sense of self is extremely important, even though it can sometimes be difficult to achieve. I used to struggle with reconciling seemingly contradictory desires, but once I started diving deep into my sexual kinks, I realized that it wasn’t so hard after all.
Having a degradation and praise kink at the same time may be complicated, but it’s not impossible. Basically, when I’m in bed with someone, one second I’ll want to be called a “worthless slut”, and then the next second I’ll want to be called “the most perfect creature ever made by God”. It might not make logical sense to someone who doesn’t have the same kinks, but it makes sense to me, and it’s also what allows me to keep a level head in every other aspect of my life.
Sometimes I just have to hit both sides of the spectrum for me to know my true place in the world.
Recently I’ve found that my kinks have also spilled over into my day-to-day routine. When I’m at work, I’ll find myself working super hard just to get positive feedback from my boss, but then right after I’ll make huge mistakes that are detrimental to the company on purpose just to get lectured and almost fired. Some people might be satisfied with just getting praise, but for me, it’s not so simple.
Sure, I’ve been fired 11 times, but I’ve been hired 12, so it all evens out!
Before I realized that I had these two conflicting kinks, my life used to be super unbalanced. I would vacillate between thinking I was a perfect genius or the worst person in the world. It just didn’t make sense until I found sexual partners down to worship me then shame me on a dime. Sometimes it’s difficult because they’ll be like, “You’ve been very bad” and I’m like, um no, we’re doing praise right now; I’ve been very good. I am the best. But it’s a fluid collaboration!
Even though my simultaneous praise and degradation kink can be confusing for almost everyone I encounter, I’ve learned that it’s also the best way to obtain a perfectly balanced life. I contain high-maintenance multitudes!
