Between the unwieldy changes of puberty, growth spurts, braces and the like, it’s totally normal to go through an awkward stage in adolescence. Thanks to being a late bloomer, I held on to the cuteness of childhood until around age 13, but then my awkward stage hit, and it hit hard. Of course, this all probably sounds like no big deal, except for one little thing: It never stopped.
That’s right – I have been in my awkward stage for nine years. Can somebody help me?
When I first started breaking out, growing body hair, and dressing in a manner that screamed, “I don’t know myself,” I thought it was temporary and would pass at least by the time I turned 21 or so. But now we’re just shy of a decade, and I still haven’t learned to address any of these problems.
Like, I’m still using the wrong shade of foundation, and I am not good at applying it.
As an awkward teen, I couldn’t wait to emerge from the chrysalis of puberty a fully realized young adult. But now I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology, yet still move through the world with the energy of someone wearing the wrong bra size – and that’s because I am! What am I supposed to do? Go to one of those bra fittings?
Seriously, I’m asking. Tell me how to be a person.
I’m never prepared for my period, I have no idea what you’re supposed to do to a pimple, and I am clearly still years if not decades away from “figuring out” my hair. It just dries weird; what can I say? I don’t have a natural part.
Some people may say that after nine years of always looking a little weird and uncomfortable and never figuring out how to smile for a photo, I can no longer claim to be in a “stage” and should instead accept that I simply an awkward person. But to that I say, oh my God, why would you say that? That’s so mean. Tell me things are going to get better. Tell me I’m gonna figure out skincare after menopause. Lie to me!
So to the tweens out there beginning their awkward stages, just know that not everyone goes from little freako to CW heartbreaker. Some of you might stay awkward. But if you do grow out of it, please let me know how!