As a mom, keeping your whole family healthy and thriving is your main focus. The best way to do that is by filling them with nutritious foods while you polish off the rest of the leftover birthday cake. Here are some simple, healthy snacks that will power your kids through their day while you lie down in a cake coma.
Bananas and Peanut Butter
No one can resist a dollop of peanut butter on a tasty banana, not even your kids! Packed with vital nutrients like protein and potassium, this snack is sure to keep your kids energized. This is perfect for when you’re lying nearly motionless on the kitchen floor, save for your jaw chomping up and down on the leftover birthday cake you knew you shouldn’t have taken home. They’ll be so filled with the joy of life that they’ll run right past you and leave you alone with those last few bites of cake! This is mommy time!
Ice Cube Trays
Don’t worry, that’s not the snack! But these small trays make it easy to portion out servings of nuts, gluten-free pretzels, and fresh berries so your kids get the nutrients they need and don’t overdo it before dinner. You know, like how you’re overdoing it right now, chugging an entire German chocolate cake you didn’t tell anyone you made. Hopefully your kids won’t see you licking the last bits of icing out from under your fingernails with their healthy eyes.
Frozen Grapes
This refreshing and easy treat will go a long way, even with picky eaters. Use one hand to put grapes in the freezer while the other hand removes a whole ice cream cake for you. Dive head-first into your chilly treat until those damn kids come running back in the kitchen. When they ask what mommy’s doing, tell them it’s a special facial and send them away with their well-balanced “delights”. But you know what’s actually delightful? This cake.
Other Shit
Anything sweet and frozen will work, since children aren’t old enough to know what’s a popsicle and what’s just some bullshit. Meanwhile, this angelic treat, this fluffy tapestry of happy chemicals and food coloring, is calling to you like a sugary siren. Screw your kids and leave out crackers. Let them eat the berries outside on that unknown bush. Because you’re bare-handsing this cake right now and can show them you love them some other way. After the cake is fully scarfed deep down into your intestines.
Water?
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!! CAKE IS SO GOOD AND IT’S NEVER NOT GOOD!!! WHY DID YOU EVEN HAVE KIDS IF THEY WERE GOING TO INTERFERE WITH YOUR CAKE TIME???????????
So next time their angelic faces plead for dessert, give them a spoonful of strawberries and pretend you’re not betraying them. Or just lie and say all the food is gone. Doesn’t really matter because there’s always cake.
