Haircuts to Make It Look Like You Know How to Cook Quinoa

Still feeling unsure about what you are supposed to do with quinoa? You don’t even really know what quinoa is (is it like rice or what?), let alone how to cook it. No worries! Simply wearing your hair in these chic, down-to-earth styles will suggest to the world that you love quinoa and totally know how to cook it.


The Pixie Cut

When you sport a carefree, earthy pixie haircut, everyone assumes that you are a cultural culinary master! Even if you just microwave fish sticks most nights, you can easily fool your friends into thinking you love cooking this ancient grain. Just ask for a close crop and you’ll never have to utter the phrase, “I can make a crust out of quinoa” again. People will just think you can!


The Lob

You spent all of last night googling “is quinoa meant to be eaten?”, but if you wear your hair in a long bob you will look smart and like you know the difference between quinoa and couscous. You must call it a lob, however, or everyone will know that you served raw quinoa to your family because you were terrified the little quinoas would explode in your oven. It was hard and grainy and everyone complained. But that’s for you to know and for no one to find out!




If you have natural curls, then you are blessed with looking like you put quinoa in salads. SALADS. Did you even know you could do that? Who cares! Your hair already suggests that you are the quinoa salad expert! If your hair is naturally straight, however, you must curl it immediately. Straight hair implies that you have been pronouncing it kwin-no-a this whole time like a buffoon. Curl your hair and people will respect and admire the way you probably heighten any recipe with your quinoa-cooking prowess.



Isn’t this just highlights? NO. And if you ask that question, then you will let everyone at the salon know that you ruined Christmas by covering cheese balls in raw quinoa, you stupid excuse for a modern woman. Get balayage for a rich look that insinuates that you do cook quinoa. You cook it all the time and you never have to Google how.



With these cute hairstyles, you’ll look like you know whether or not you can dump a bunch of quinoa into a slow cooker with no water and leave it there for 5 hours because you forgot about it. Everyone will assume that you have been busy stuffing perfectly boiled (steamed?) quinoa into halved red peppers all along.