Co-workers of Devin Roberts, who recently yelled over everyone in his office in a meeting, recently conceded that the 24-year-old developer likely has the most valid opinion and is obviously the most correct.
“He’s definitely the loudest, so he must be right,” said his colleague, Nancy Shorewood. “Most of the time, I’m so startled by the sound of his voice that I trail off and start agreeing with whatever he’s saying. Clearly, he’s more passionate about this than anybody else. Plus, I assume he’s right since he’s so loud.”
Devin’s coworkers admit there may have been other good points being made during their last company meeting, but no one at the office could hear them over the constant boom of Devin’s voice.
“I feel like there may have been other good ideas brought up but I’m honestly not sure,” said fellow programmer, Steven Bertrand. “They couldn’t have been as valid as Devin’s ideas or he wouldn’t have been pounding his fists on the table.”
Devin’s impressive vocal dominance extends to all areas of his life and isn’t isolated to office politics.
“I was talking about how much I loved Shape of Water in the break room, and suddenly Devin popped up to explain slash yell why I was wrong,” said Dawn Kirsch from the Sales Team. “I was pretty sure I liked the film, but then Devin kept shouting, ‘Actually Guillermo Del Toro is trash,’ and I suddenly realized I didn’t like the film after all.”
His coworkers believe Devin’s earsplitting vocals may have saved his job more than a few times.
“I wanted to fire him last month,” said Geraldine Katz, Devin’s boss. “But he interjected with some reasons why I shouldn’t, and suddenly I couldn’t hear myself talking anymore. I got disoriented and suddenly thought: Anyone that loud must have something of value to say, right?”
Other colleagues are also intimidated by Devin’s deafening prowess.
“I’m a woman, so I don’t have a chance of vocally matching him,” said Dawn. “So I usually scurry away to avoid him or begin nodding immediately to keep the interaction as short as possible.”
