Sure, masturbating in almost all forms has its merits, but you have to admit, pleasuring yourself in your room with the door closed can grow a bit stale. So why not amp things up a little by taking this you-fight outside? We know what you’re thinking: “How do I masturbate in public without getting asked to leave Brookstone?” The answer is simple! Just wisely choose a new hobby that allows you to tickle your buddy out in the open:
1. Rock Climbing
Rock climbing is an exhilarating challenge in which you wear a crotch harness that can be adjusted for your comfort. Just a slight “I can’t reach that orange knob” wiggle is enough for 60% of women to achieve orgasm.
2. Knitting
How about taking up the hipster hobby of knitting? Once that blanket gets big enough, you can do whatever you want under there.
3. Horseback Riding
Join your local stable and have your choice of horse to ride/rub against. If you’re good enough to enter competitions, people will watch and cheer you on while you…participate.
4. Interior Decorating
A big part of interior decorating is choosing the right couch. And a big part of choosing the right couch is making sure it’s durable. And a big part of making sure a couch is durable is humping the arm of it.
5. Surfing
Hey, you’re new to this sport – you’re not used to wearing a wetsuit, so you just have to keep readjusting it, rapidly.
6. Tablescaping
Centerpieces, decorations, and pleasing color schemes draw the eye to the table top and away from whatever is happening under the table.
7. Dirt Biking
Don’t worry; there are plenty of cool X Games-inspired tricks you can learn where you don’t have to leave your seat.
8. Metal Detecting
Head to the beach with a metal detector, pretend you’ve found treasure, and get people to help you dig! Everyone will be so excited, they won’t notice that you’re masturbating.
Few things top the thrill of bringing yourself to orgasm, but one thing that definitely does is bringing yourself to orgasm in public. So broaden your horizons with a new hobby that doubles as a way to get off in front of innocent people. Have fun out there!
