Speaking confidently is an important life skill that can also seem impossible when you’re too easily distracted to complete your own thoughts and allow them to trail off instead because wait, what were you talking about…? Ha ha. Never mind! Anyways, what’s a spacey girl to do in a be-aware, pay-attention kind of world when she gets a little preoccupied in the middle of her opinion? We came up with a few fun noises that will help you retain professional and personal respect—make them after your sentence trickles out and watch everyone get just as sidetracked as you always are. Blahh!
“Ha ha”
Laughing after you say something is a genius concept that will dazzle your colleagues. It shows you’re feeling sociable and free instead of panicked that your attention span just ate itself in the middle of your story. It’s especially good for the story about that one time your dad took you fishing and this guy at the lake was wearing this crazy bucket hat covered in fishhooks, and…umm…ha ha. If you need help laughing, try this visualization exercise: As you trail off, use your hand to “draw” wavy lines out of your mouth at the same time. Your laugh is much more confident when you do this. Everyone will be convinced to laugh along with you and won’t remember to ask “Wait, what happened at the lake?”
“Uh Huh, Uh Huh”
Forgot where that story about your childhood pet was going? Adopt the brief tone of someone taking a business call. Your peers will assume you got sidetracked by answering a bluetooth. Add a “yes ma’am” while walking away and you lend a huge amount of credibility to this strategy, even if you’re walking out of a meeting where all of your superiors are there and none of them are calling you. If you do it right, no one will suspect that you simply forgot what you were saying during your own PowerPoint presentation.
“Beep Beep Ribby Ribby”
Sure, making the sound “beep beep ribby ribby” after a sentence doesn’t exactly say, “I’m a badass good talker.” But it can be a great excuse for why you stopped talking if you pass it off as a joke from an episode of 30 Rock that just popped into your head. For example, “So the Verizon guy never showed up and I’m like…beep beep ribby ribby! Sorry, just remembered this 30 Rock episode.” Nice. Now, if your colleague’s seen the same episode, you can both go “beep beep ribby ribby” together until work is over. At this point, no one should remember what anyone was originally talking about as you all pile into the elevator.
“Choo-Choo!”
Making choo-choo noises isn’t difficult, and doing so can make people assume you’ve already made a coherent point that you are now punctuating with a lively train whistle sound. Test this strategy by recording yourself saying “choo-choo!!” to see if you can do it believably—or ask a trusted friend to be brutally honest with you. If your choo-choo sound is up to snuff, make it confidently and throw in a chugga chugga chugga chugga sound, too. Your friends will be certain that this is something sensible people do.
“Woof Woof”
Not finishing your whole sentence out loud is weird if you’re a human, but it not if you’re a dog. Say “woof woof” and people will assume you’re finishing your story in dog language and that it would all make sense to them if they knew how to speak dog. Really any kind of speech is impressive from you!
Try these strategies to stop feeling self-conscious about losing track of your thoughts! When used effectively, your friends will stop looking confused, and start looking around like they just heard something weird.
