Fun Beer Cocktails to Get Him to Stop Talking about His Wife and Kids

So you met a mature, cool, and downright handsome man with a capital “M”. Congrats, girl! But wait: He has a wife and kids? Ugh, condolences, girl. When he starts bringing up those pesky kids and that adoring wife, Angela, it’s time to whip up one of these fun beer cocktails that will blow his mind and help him focus on you, the one who is not his family and knows how to make cool drinks.


The Black Velvet Dress

This classic beer cocktail is a mix of champagne and stout beer that will get him to stop ranting and raving about how his kids are so “smart” and “talented.” Make this drink for him so you can at least start talking about alcohol or sports or books or anything else at all, for God’s sake. You wear slinky hot dresses! You deserve better!



The Sake He-Just-Dropped-a-Bomb-on-Me

This one is perfect to make right after he drops the “bomb” that he has a wife and kids back home in Boston. When you go in the kitchen to collect yourself after this unexpected news, just drop a shot of sake in a big ol’ glass of Japanese beer, and poof—you’ve got a beer cocktail with a major party vibe! Serve him this beer cocktail and he will def stop bringing up Thanksgiving plans with his in-laws!


The Michelada and Forget-About-Her

Take a Corona, mix it with V8 and add as much Tabasco as your heart desires! The spicier the better, especially if you want him to quit all this talk about Angela and her dreams of going back to law school.


A Classy and “Raspy” Affair

This one’s for all you berry lovers out there! Crush some raspberries and blueberries, add vodka, and pour in any kind of light beer. This is a great beer cocktail to whip up when you want to become the most palpable thing in his life. Also goes down easy when he starts talking about re-doing the basement into a workspace for Angela to study to pass the Bar.



The “He’s-Never-Going-to-Leave-Her” Sunrise Citrus:

Dammit, you’re younger and hipper and also how delicious is fresh squeezed orange juice in a wheat beer? Yum! Sure, you might have conceded defeat to the “wife” and “kids”, but at least you can make this fun and fruity beer cocktail. He’ll realize his mistake…someday.


So make sure to try out these beer cocktails after you meet a great guy who just can’t stop talking about his wife and kids. It may not work out in the long run, but you’ll be remembered for your killer beer cocktails no matter what happens!