You feel hot as shit after a blowout—the shine, the bounce, the way your hair swishes behind you when you walk. But you just can’t justify spending 40 bucks on one every day, so why not do it at home? With these tips, you’re only four steps away from a flawless blowout, as long as you’re looking at it straight-on—because that’s why you pay $40 for someone else to do it for you. Here’s how to DIY a blowout that tells the world, “I did not use a second mirror and my arms got tired.”
1. Starting with damp hair, wrap the front section of your hair around a round brush.
This will take a couple of tries, so stop for a second to mentally calculate if this is even physically possible. Once you realize that you and your hairstylist have the same number of arms, get back to work. Maybe start by lifting the blow dryer? Wait, no. That can’t be right. Okay, put the dryer down, and use that hand to wrap the hair around the brush. Now hold that in your fist and pick up the dryer. Shit, but now you have to turn the dryer on. Is it even plugged in? Start over. You’re doing great!
2. Tell yourself you’ll get to the back part later.
While you’re grappling with your bangs, you’ll have to tell yourself that you’ll get to the back part of your head. This isn’t true. In fact, you can see that the hair back there is already starting to dry and frizz out, and your arms are tired even though you’ve been at this for like three minutes. But tell yourself anyway! You’ve got to keep the faith that maybe you’ll evolve into a detail-oriented person before your bangs are dry.
3. Actually get kind of good at the front part.
Hey, this isn’t as hard as it looks! You’re holding the brush, angling the dryer down, and kind of twisting the brush as it releases the hair, if that makes sense? And it looks good! Not as good as when the lady at Drybar does it, but pretty good! Ha, cool. Finish with a light misting of hairspray because you’ve seen her do that. Wow—the front of you looks incredible!
4. Give up on the back and style accordingly.
Man, your arms are tired! When was the last time you did a push-up? Whatever, that’s enough blow-drying for one day anyway. Who’s even looking at the back of your head? Creeps, that’s who. And creeps don’t deserve your best! Maybe you could try putting the not-blown-out section in a bun? Nah, that looks weird. Whatever. Who cares. You did your best!
Congrats, lady! You now have a super-sophisticated blowout on the front section of your head. Enjoy it (until you see a picture of the back of your head)!
