In a fortunate story coming out of Houston, TX, longtime resident Krista Michaels has officially pursued one of the most promising investments she’s ever made. That’s right — Krista got an entirely new hairstyle, which will definitely send her flying into the world of wealth and prosperity!
So smart! This is going to pay for itself in no time!
“When I realized that lifestyle creep was gaining on me and I had to increase my salary, I looked for all sorts of possible options for myself,” Krista told reporters. “Like, should I get short fringe bangs or curtain bangs? Should I get extensions? Or, wait, should I cut it all off instead?”
Krista ultimately chose to get a sharp, blunt bob, which is now bound to reward her with inconceivable riches before she even knows it.
“All I have to do now is wait for a C-level executive to see me when I’m walking down the street,” she told reporters while creating a side part in the mirror. “Once they see this bob, they’ll offer me a job with a six-figure salary, benefits, and a generous PTO policy right on the spot, and it’s all thanks to my trusted hairstylist, Alyssa!”
Wow! Suzy Orman found dead in a ditch!
When hairstylist Alyssa was approached by Krista about a hairstyle that would completely change her financial future, Alyssa knew exactly what she had to do.
“Your appearance has a huge effect in your professional life, for better or for worse,” Alyssa told reporters. “But when Krista came in and asked for a style that would improve her finances, I knew I had to give her a bob, the universal hairstyle for taking care of business.”
Genius! Who needs a personal budget, anyway?
Krista is already feeling the direct results of the change, telling reporters: “I might still be unemployed, but I definitely feel like a corporate baddie, and that’s all that matters! Sooner or later, everything else will fall into place.”
At press time, Krista also purchased three different two-piece suits, blue light glasses, and a Stanley cup.
“You just have to fake it ‘til you make it,” she said. “And I’ll be making it very soon… any day now!”
