Dads can be hard to shop for, especially if he happens to have a “secret” second family in, let’s say, Ohio. Last year, you made a super embarrassing goof and gave him the same reversible tie that he had already received from who you think is his other 19-year-old daughter, Charlene. How embarrassing! To spare you from making another humiliating faux pas, we’ve come up with a foolproof list of Father’s Day gifts to show him that you care, and that you’re better than his other children that you’re 99% sure tried to reach out to you on Facebook once.
Chili’s Gift Certificate
You probably have nights when you lie awake and think, “I want my dad back—wherever he is.” Lucky for you, there’s a Chili’s within a 20-mile radius of just about any suburban town, so whether he’s spending time with your family in New Jersey or with The Others in Ohio, you simply cannot go wrong with a gift certificate to America’s favorite family dining establishment. Awesome Blossoms for everyone!
Hugs and Kisses!
No matter how old you get, you’ll always be daddy’s little girl, even if there are other Daddy’s little girls located somewhere across state lines. You don’t need to buy an expensive gift to show him that you love him–a hug and a kiss will do! Plus, your dad might not come back next time, so this could be your last opportunity.
A Meaningful Sacrifice
Not a human sacrifice, silly! Just an almost humanly impossible one. For example, since only three people can take advantage of it at a time, you could offer to give up your usage of the shared Netflix account. Be the bigger person. Bigger than Charlene, at least.
Cemetery Plot
Your dad might have two families now, but technically, he can only be dead in a single location. Which means one family has to do it first and secure dad a final resting place. Lock this one down to show that your family is his real family, no matter what Charlene says!! This makes a perfect gift for the dad who loves yard work and gardening, because the only thing better than a regular garden is a human garden.
A Handmade Gift
Handmade gifts are often the most special because they require extra effort, and if there’s one person that values effort, it’s your dad (who makes the effort every day to maintain two separate lives). Now’s your chance to show him you’ve learned from the very best. So stick a photo of you and your two boyfriends in a handmade frame and watch his look of surprise—and likely approval—when he opens it up!
No matter what you get for dad this Father’s Day, keep in mind that he has two families competing to honor him. And it’s inevitable that one family will do a better job. So this year, call dibs on Dad before Charlene does!
