I didn’t know if I’d want an intimate country church gathering or a raucous destination getaway for my upcoming wedding, but I did know one thing: I wouldn’t be one of those difficult brides, imposing their tyranny on every unsuspecting friend and family member. I’m diplomatic. It’s how I ran Uzbekistan when I was in Model UN, and it’s how I’m running my wedding party. That’s why I’m graciously allowing all of my bridesmaids to pick out whatever dress they want, as long as it’s made entirely out of washi tape.
I first saw the popular Japanese decorating tape on a Pinterest board when I was looking up vegan mac and cheese recipes my friends could bring to my weekly potlucks, since I’m going vegan to get in shape for my wedding. There they were: rolls of multi-patterned bliss, caressing the walls/furniture/cabinets/notebooks/phone cases of well-lit studio apartments. The myriad designs, the varying degrees of thickness, the delicate patterns… I was smitten. When I decided on “DIY On a Budget” for a wedding theme, I knew I wanted to incorporate acres of washi tape, but in an original way.
Have you ever seen a bridal party in head-to-toe washi tape formal wear? I sure haven’t!
A lot of the girls live out of town, and instead of spending all that money on flying out, getting everyone to decide on a dress, and paying for several rounds of alterations, they can just go to Target and buy like, I don’t know, 7 rolls of washi tape? Then all they have to do is find a dress pattern or use one of their existing dresses as a pattern to make their custom washi dress. As an added courtesy, I even agreed to reimburse all receipts under $35.00, and send them alerts for when washi tape’s about to go on sale in their area. See? No Bridezilla here!
I just want everyone to look their best on my wedding day, and nothing looks better than washi tape. Nothing.
Women are like flowers. They come in all shapes and colors, they don’t all bloom at once, and they’re all beautiful. It just made sense to let the girls choose individual looks that made them feel pretty on my special day. And it made even more sense that they use washi tape to construct their bridesmaids dresses. I’ve done a few practice runs to show the girls that it’s totally doable to build a dress out of paper-thin tape, and I’ve warned them that if their dress bursts open, they’ll want to have an extra roll or two of washi on hand to tape it back together.
And no, I’m not letting them wear regular bridesmaid dresses that are covered in washi tape. That’s just dumb.
Some of the girls are scared that a dress constructed from washi tape won’t last, especially Arlene, who has a tiny waist and huge boobs. Well, you know what? I’m scared that my marriage won’t last, but I’m being a team player and trying anyway. At the very least, they could be more appreciative that I didn’t put seven women with wildly different personal styles and body types in strapless, champagne satin mermaid gowns. Bet that shooting-star-patterned roll of washi tape’s looking pretty good now, huh, Arlene?
As a bride, I want to be remembered for my original style, my relaxed wedding day vibe, and my immense generosity toward a group of twelve of my closest girlfriends. When I walk down the aisle and float past my patchwork bridal party, radiantly wrapped in washi tape, I know exactly what they’ll be thinking: “We look so pretty and are so grateful to have been chosen by such a stunningly reasonable bride”.
You’re welcome, girls. You’re welcome.
