If you suffer from an unpredictable digestive tract, you know the importance of a stylish, yet practical wardrobe. Lucky for you, in recent years we’ve seen the rise of the drop-crotch silhouette—a perfect solution if you simply cannot or do not want to hold it. If you’re gonna poop your pants, poop these pants!
1. Eileen Fisher Harem Pant (Nordstrom Rack, $54.97)
Switch up your usual office attire with this set of slacks that’s as loose as your bowels. Complete with an edgy ankle-level crotch, these billowy pants will provide you all the room you need to relieve yourself in public, even if “public” means “your office.” Hot!
2. Harem Pants in Jersey (ASOS, $28)
You’ll feel as comfortable as you do confident in these casual trousers. They will not only give you a penguin-like gait, but also peace of mind—they’ll effortlessly hide even the most overloaded disposable briefs. Don’t worry about your limited range of motion; with a fashionably concealed pair of absorbent undergarments, there’s no need to hurry to the bathroom anyway!
3. Dance Printed Knit Drop Crotch Pant (Reebok, $55)
Make all the boys wonder, “What the hell is going on in her pants?!” with these fun joggers that feature a sassy all-over graffiti print, which will camouflage the unsightly bulges caused by your loaded diaper.
4. Superfine Merge Drop Crotch Pant (Gilt, $398)
No matter how little control you have over your gastrointestinal tract, you can still drop it low in these club-friendly stunners that hold up to a gallon of human waste. Did you poop yourself, or are you just on the razor’s edge of fashion? No one will be able to figure it out!
5. Women’s Harem Pants (Target, $34.99)
There’s no longer any need to feel ashamed that your spontaneous nature also applies to your colon. Just throw on your most robust diaper and a pair of these roomy Target lifesavers and you’re ready for a steamy night on the town!
The growing availability of trendy drop-crotch pants has made the excruciating choice between style and incontinence products a thing of the past. So combine the two and rock that adult diaper like the sexy, portable biohazard it is!
