In a developing story out of Brooklyn, resident true crime fanatic Pearl Georgio just solved a high-profile murder case that was devised by a room full of screenwriters using only her observational skills and years of internalizing crime movie tropes.
Pearl, who has been listening to crime podcasts nonstop since 2017, was watching the season finale of the limited series on HBO when she was able to crack the case. Suddenly, she knew who the killer was: the husband.
After years of passively listening to cases, Pearl was able to insert herself into the twisted minds of the screenwriters who wrote the mini series starring Jake Gyllenhaal, and discover the truth instead.
Literal investigator Pearl was humble about her incredible achievement.
“I realized the husband was not on the detective’s radar the entire time. And he was the only one in the series who they hadn’t gone in depth on the alibi on. It was the perfect, shocking twist, so it had to be him,” she said as she explained her process of solving the web of clues. “Plus, the husband always does it.”
“I figured it out before any of the dumb cops on the show did,” she said, though she was privy to a few worried glances from the husband that the cops weren’t, because of the inherent dramatic irony of crime shows.
Since this great achievement, Pearl is now considering a career shift to fighting crime.
“I think I could definitely be a detective or something, I love this shit,” she said, referring to her hobby of watching crime shows and guessing who the murderer is from the safety of her living room. “But on the other hand, blood is scary. And I don’t want to learn how to use a gun.”
At press time, Pearl was googling, “how to detective become” as she watched more forensic files reruns.
