31-year-old Dawn Maynard was shocked this week after her coworker, Marcy, was presented with a birthday cake in the office. The store-bought cake appeared in the communal conference room in what Dawn is now calling a “coordinated, focused attack” on Dawn’s diet and therefore on Dawn herself.
Dawn explains that given her low-carb diet, the presence of the cake was extremely triggering. “I thought about it all day after that,” says Dawn, wiping a bit of dried frosting from her lips, “How could they be so selfish?”
According to multiple sources, Dawn reacted to the cake with a series of loud sighs, before slamming the office fridge door.
“It’s like she had a birthday to spite me,” says Dawn, “She just wants to get me fat, I know it.”
Dawn went on to explain that the cake was intentionally “within walking distance” of her desk and she “almost ate the whole thing.” But Marcy insists it wasn’t a personal attack.
“I didn’t even bring the cake,” explains Marcy. “Besides, I’m gluten-free and couldn’t even eat any. Shouldn’t I be the one who’s upset?”
At the end of the day, Dawn was seen circling the fridge, muttering about calories to herself.
“On my birthday, I don’t bring in anything,” Dawn explains. “Because I am smart enough to know not everything is about me!”
