Couple Rationing TV Shows to Prepare for Winter


Baltimore based couple Adriana Rizzo and Ehsaan Bakshi have announced that in preparation for a winter sheltering in place, they are now slowly rationing out prestige TV shows to prepare for the long winter ahead.


“When quarantine started, we thought we’d finally have time to watch all the great shows that previously felt like too great an undertaking,” says Adriana. “And for a time, that’s exactly what we did. We watched The Sopranos, we watched The Wire; we even re-watched the last season of Insecure


“Pretty soon we both became aware of the finite nature of existing television shows,” Ehsaan adds. “That’s when we realized our pace was unsustainable.”


With no end to social distancing in sight, and the cold, dark months drawing nearer, the couple soon realized it was time to control, limit, and carefully plan their series intake.


“Here we were binge-watching prestige television when we actually could have been outside or some shit,” says Adriana. “What’s going to happen when it’s pitch-black out at 5 p.m. and freezing? Westworld isn’t any less confusing the second time around.”


“I mean, we’ve already used up basically every outlier streaming service free trial,” she adds. “What are we going to do? Get really into Quibi?”


Faced with such harrowing potential consequences for their reckless consumption, Adriana and Ehsaan have taken concrete measures to ensure their reserve will not be so bone-dry come winter.

“We’re setting aside Dexter as a precaution,” says Ehsaan. “Neither of us really wants to watch it, but it’s still good to know it’s there. We’re saving Pose as a reward for getting through Dexter, then we’re going to rewatch New Girl even though Adriana already rewatched it in March.”


“Then,” adds Ehsaan. “To be perfectly honest, we might try out Better Off Ted.”


The couple reports if they miscalculate and fail to last the season, they may try finally watching Magnolia.