While many women struggle with anxiety in their daily lives, few realize their potential for full-blown depression. Although you may not be able to escape the racing thoughts or crippling stress that characterize anxiety, there are ways to harness these powerful, creative energies to rise out of one mental health crisis and fall deep down into another. It’s never too late to make a change! Follow these simple steps to discover a calm, relaxed, depressing new you.
Do Yoga Once
Yoga is a great tool for relieving stress when practiced regularly. But done poorly on one occasion, it can really make you feel terrible about your anxiety-filled existence. Channel your anxiety into frantically googling “Beginner Yoga Videos” and choose a female instructor with an intimidating body. When you follow the steps wrong and don’t have an in-the-flesh teacher there to help you figure it out, you’ll end up really sad about the future of your health. These internalized thoughts of failure will help you on your journey from generalized anxiety to clinical depression.
Take Some Pills
Did you know that many anti-anxiety medications list depressive thoughts as a common side effect? When you slow yourself down without dealing with the underlying emotional issues, you can really channel those bad thoughts into a less panicky, more melancholy place. This is a great start for you in your transition from a fast mental illness to a slow one. With pills, you’ll barely have to do any work yourself. Psychiatrists typically recommend that women implement cognitive behavioral therapy alongside their medications, but you’re not like other women. You’re going from anxious to depressed overnight!
Believe in Yourself Too Much
Nothing will help you flourish in depression like setting the bar for yourself obscenely high. Channel all that anxious energy into making big unattainable plans. You’ll also need to give up your Sunday mornings; the one time you really let yourself unwind. You certainly don’t have the fortitude to keep up with that, now do you? By turning your anxiety up to full blast, you’ll burn out and end up catatonically depressed in no time. A change is gonna do you good!
Just Try to Be Happier
This is the last stop on your journey to depression. Your friends keep saying ignorant things, like, “Would you just stop stressing out and be happy already?” Well, what if they’re right? Go ahead and try. When an anxiety-ridden person like you tries to force herself to be happy, she will surely fail miserably, and end up inexorably depressed. Win!
These tips will help you cultivate a healthy depression that will annoy the people around you a lot less than your unmistakable anxiety. Good luck!
