Jane Burke and Steve Fisher dated for eleven years before deciding to “make it official.” The San Francisco couple, who met volunteering in the Peace Corps, finally decided to take the plunge after Prop 8 and DOMA were overturned this year.
The wedding ceremony successfully achieved the beautifully simple aesthetic the couple was hoping for – until the fateful reception entrances of sister to the bride and maid of honor, Ashlynn Burke, and best man and brother to the groom, Brock “B-Rock” Fisher. “Bridal party couples were told to calmly take their place between the tribal drummers and the oak tree after the folk band announced their names.”
After the first names were called, however, Brock tore away his organic hemp suit to reveal a standard tuxedo as Ashlynn yelled, “hit it!” cueing booming mash-up of 90s party hits such as “Jump Around,” “Let’s Talk About Sex,” and The Barenaked Ladies’ “One Week.” Ashlynn and Brock led the wait-staff of the vegan catering company and certain family members in an elaborate, lewd, exquisitely choreographed flash-mob style dance. The guests were enthralled, many calling it “the best part of the day.”
Mother of the groom, Mary Fisher said “Oh yeah, we’d been practicing for weeks! I’ve even lost 6 pounds for this little stunt.” Father of the bride Randall Burke pulled his groin during the display, rendering him unable to participate in the father-daughter dance, as had been planned. The bride was seen practicing yoga breathing techniques in order to stay calm until eventually the group’s Macarena routine resulted in someone knocking over the newly planted oak tree. Seeing the representation of her and Steve’s love destroyed, she began sobbing into her reusable handkerchief.
At this time, Jane and Steve are believed to be living in a yurt on the East Coast, though none of their family members can say for sure.
