Boozy Brunch Actually Less Fun With Constant Fear Of Dying

As cities nationwide push through consecutive phases of reopening despite no changes to the threat of COVID-19, many residents have returned to their favorite haunts. However, sources report a number of these bold diners are finding that a boozy brunch with pals is significantly less fun when accompanied by a constant fear of getting sick and dying.

 

“I had been fantasizing about eggs benny and Bloody Mary Sunday for months,” says Hadley Richardson. “But for some reason sitting on the sidewalk being glared at by passersby while worrying about if I’m going to get covid from my straw all made it kind of not chill.”

 

“I guess that’s just life now, though,” Richardson adds.

 

And she’s not the only one feeling the strain of eating brunch in fear of contracting and spreading a deadly virus.

 

“The whole situation just sucks,” said Rebecca Cunningham. “I resolved to not live my life in fear of other people’s judgment, and that’s why I decided to return to brunch. But now I can’t even enjoy it.”

 

“Like, what if my waiter got covid from one of the other random diners?” adds Cunningham. “I’m so confident I don’t have it, but you don’t know if these other people have been careful. It’s scary, but what choice do we have?”

 

While Richardson and Cunningham are resigned to their fate of risky brunches, some feel that the matter is not so predetermined.

 

“I mean, you could just not go out to brunch,” says Chrissie Lowe. “If you’re putting other people’s lives at risk and not even enjoying it, it really seems like there are negative reasons to go.”

 

“Not that it would really be different if you were enjoying it, either,” Lowe adds.

 

Even some boozy brunch patrons agree that the death-fearing tradeoff doesn’t break even.

 

 

“Maybe it really isn’t worth it,” says Cunningham. “I can’t just sip a mimosa and keep up conversation while thinking about dying from kidney failure.”

 

“I need an experience that will truly take my mind off everything,” Cunningham adds. “I can’t wait till movie theaters reopen.”