Bisexual? Woman Excited to See Both ‘Oppenheimer’ and ‘Barbie’

In a revelatory story out of Queens, NY, 25-year-old Hazel Chan came to the realization that she was bisexual after feeling excited by the prospect of seeing both Oppenheimer and Barbie.


The discovery came as a shock to Hazel, who already knew she was gay and had been long anticipating the release of Barbie, but didn’t expect to see the Oppenheimer trailer and think, “Wow, I really want to see that.”


“I never knew I could be partly straight in that way,” Hazel admitted to reporters. “Like, I’m actually super excited to see Cillian Murphy’s portrayal of the man who developed the atomic bomb. I guess my sexuality is more fluid than I thought.”


Some of Hazel’s friends aren’t as surprised as she is, claiming that her past movie preferences indicated that this might be the case.


“One time she hosted a movie marathon at her apartment and the movies she chose included Jennifer’s Body, Fast & Furious 6, Steel Magnolias, and 300,” said Ana Langford, a close friend of Hazel’s. “I’d never seen a more bisexual movie lineup in my life. But I knew she’d figure it out for herself in her own time.”


Hazel admits she might have been a little closed off to exploring this part of her sexuality, saying, “Watching Barbie be expelled from Barbie Land and forced into the real world for being a less-than-perfect doll? That’s just compelling cinema, and the aspect of my sexuality I felt most comfortable embracing.”



She continued, “It was more difficult to grapple with the Oppenheimer side of myself – the side of myself that hears ‘biographical thriller about the creation of the first nuclear weapons written and directed by Christopher Nolan’ and thinks ‘I’d like to see that.’ Am I a war monger?”


In spite of her fears, Hazel says this experience has helped her hold space for her bisexuality, and that she has even decided to give The Irishman another chance because, “I don’t know, maybe I’m actually into three-hour long semi-historical epics?”


However, at press time, Hazel admitted that when it comes time to choose between Barbie and Oppenheimer, she’s absolutely seeing Barbie first, stating, “I’m interested in Oppenheimer, but not that interested.”