In a combination of surprising and disappointing news, Hoboken, NJ resident Shannon Kubas just hit the big three-oh and still, somehow, cares about what people think about her.
You’re supposed to be mostly done with that by now, Shannon, – catch up!
The unfortunate realization dawned on Shannon as she was getting ready for a birthday party with her friends, and found she was still self-consciously looking at her faint mustache and debating whether she should remove it or not, as she had always done since the age of 20.
“I was sitting there with the razor in my hand like, will my friends judge me more for shaving my mustache than not shaving my mustache?” Shannon said. “I was paralyzed for a full 20 minutes worried which was the correct choice. I am now 30 years old.”
Shannon’s friends have a hard time understanding the whole “giving a fuck” thing, as well. Many of them completely lost the ability the minute the clock hit midnight on their 30th.
“The other day Shannon sent me six snapchats of outfit options when we were going to meet up for a drink,” her friend, Lauren Evans recalled. “I can see doing that for, say, your own wedding. That’s like the only time past 30 that you can even justify that sort of behavior.”
Ouch, Shannon, it sounds like you are making life way harder on yourself! Did you not get the memo??
At press time, Shannon was found at the ripe age of 30 years and four days still “working hard” and “desperately striving to impress her boss and colleagues” at work. Truly heartbreaking!