There’s nothing hotter than a guy with a conscience. If you want to get in good with a hot do-gooder, you’ll need to get selfless, fast. Here’s our guide to looking like your altruistic pursuits are in line with his:
Get spiritual, but mostly for your body.
He’s probably searching for deeper meaning, so you should too. Get yourself a Groupon for a Bikram studio and balance your chakras while toning your butt (he loves butts). Yoga pants can become a legitimate staple of your off-duty wardrobe – he doesn’t need to know you haven’t saluted the sun since your one-month subscription ran out. This way, you can be comfy for all those long weekend brunches you two will spend together, talking about endangered animals and old people or whatever “We Are The World” shit he’s into.
Get angry, in a hot way.
Pick a human rights issue and get worked up about it when you’re with him, and on Twitter when you’re not (be sure to @mention him). Choose from human trafficking (warning: this has nothing to do with cars!), war crimes or wrongful imprisonment. When it comes to wardrobe, channel UN favorites Angelina Jolie and Audrey Hepburn for an elegant look that says, “I know the difference between Tutsis and Hutus.” He’ll be so head over heels for your calculated righteousness, he won’t be able to hide his boner!
Help some poor people, and your fat arms.
Before you can build a home with him, you have to make him think you want the whole world to have one. Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity and get your work gloves ready – you’re about to tone the shit out of those arms! Facetime him regularly from shacks, and make it clear to him that you are singlehandedly housing the whole world. He’ll see you building a home and think, “People have sex in homes.” Jackpot!
Blow his whistle!
Can you keep a secret? Not “Kelly’s sleeping with her boss” secretive; we’re talking “The United States government is committing heinous acts of surveillance against its own citizens” secretive. If you think you can handle it, whistleblowing is a great option for getting guys to notice you. Infiltrate a corporation or the military and take notes. When you’ve got enough dirt, go public in a flatteringly shot, feature-length interview. He won’t miss it. Oscars and marriage await!
Foster a kid – and that guy’s interest.
You could volunteer to help underprivileged children do their homework, or you could fast-track your way into your hero’s bed by adopting a child to call your own. Ideally, source one from a far-flung, war-torn country and speak in hushed tones about how “nobody’s sure what happened to the parents.” You can thank the kid later – but really, shouldn’t she be thanking you? You put her up for a whole week!
So what are you waiting for, Mother Teresa? Go do some good in the world, and in no time he’ll be begging to do you!
