Awesome! You’re out with your new acquaintance Lauren and it turns out she’s so much fucking fun! Yaaas karaoke kween! Amazing, girl, yaaaas get it!
Oh fuck wait… Nope. She’s losing it. Okay back away. We gotta get out of here. Lauren is going nuts.
This night started out so promising. Gracie’s random friend Lauren came in town and turned a quiet Friday night fun into a round of shots and a sexy game of “Would You Rather” – but now she’s licking everyone in the bar and the bouncer’s asking you what’s up with your friend and threatening to call the cops. Ope, time to leave everybody!! Lauren might actually punch someone tonight.
It was so fun when she was flirtily throwing little balled-up straw wrappers at the bartender and he was flirting back, but now that she’s stolen a bottle of Casamigos, you gotta get out of here. You did not know this is coming and you certainly didn’t sign on for it.
Okay and she just jumped over the bar. This is not where you thought any of this was leading. Better delete any photos proving that you were acquainted before the cops show up.
When you were in the bathroom earlier in the night she said, “Let’s get crazy tonight!” And you said “yeah,” ’cause you thought she was just talking about dancing and having fun and now you’re wondering if you shouldn’t have said that?!! Did she think that meant getting in a fight with the drag queen? Close out the tab, quick, and run.
This is not your fault is it? If you leave now, you’re no longer responsible in any way for what’s happening, right?
Okay yep, now she’s in some girl’s face telling her that her boyfriend’s “actually not a good guy.” Gotta go! Bye Lauren!
