Being a strong woman means there will always be naysayers in your life. We warrior princesses have to face trying people all the time, whether they’re bad boyfriends, cruel bosses, or fellow ladies who are “just jealous”. Even though you totally keep it classy, it’s always nice to walk away from a tough situation knowing that your casual glare let your adversary know they’ll be pilloried in your forthcoming bestseller.
Here are three angry stares to tell them, “This is definitely going in my memoir.”
1. The “You’re the Antagonist” Smile and Nod
So you’re grabbing “We’re totally friends now” drinks with your ex, and you want him to think you’re totally over that time he made fun of your baby bangs in front of the whole bar. With this classic facial gesture, you can let him know, “I wrote down all of the things you said to me that night at O’Flannery’s, and they’re currently in Chapter 1 as a metaphor for my internal struggles.” He may think you’re being amiable now, but he’ll be sorry once you get this thing published.
2. The “Make Sure You Read the Prologue” Arm-Fold
Here you can be a little sassier. If the perpetrator is confronting you about hacking into his email, fold your arms while making an “mmmhmm” sound. What you’re really saying is, “I swear, the SECOND an agent responds to my emails, I am PLASTERING the prologue with your full name, Ryan Jeffrey Anderson, and listing ALL of the times you were mediocre at sex! Your parents will cry in shame when this thing gets released, and I won’t be sorry because I hate them too.”
3. The “You’re First in the Acknowledgements” Head-Tilt
Is your emotional attacker droning on and on about how you’re “toxic and destructive”? Process this unfair bullshit by tilting your head to the right and resting it on your fist to internally scream, “Your fiancé will leave you the second I release the details about this day in my memoir, Ryan. I will be sending her an advance copy.”
These coy looks will let them know that you’re totally going to get back at him in a few years with your groundbreaking tell-all that’s bound to get published as soon as you start writing it. You have something unique to say – revenge is the best success!
