Adorable! This 8-Year-Old’s Dream Wedding Factors In Impending Climate Disaster

Too cute! Pint-sized kiddo Belle Jones is already planning her dream wedding, leaving no detail unaccounted for, from the decorations to the guest list to the extreme environmental conditions that will result from an ever-thinning ozone layer.


The 8-year-old is beyond excited for that special day, and she says that factoring in impending climate disaster adds an extra, but necessary, challenge to her plans. Did somebody say adorable?


“I want everything to be pink and purple,” says Belle, explaining that those are her favorite colors and would look fun in an underground bunker. “I’d love for there to be pink and purple flowers and streamers everywhere, but I’ll probably have to settle for painted rocks, if there are dry rocks. Who knows if there will even be flowers by the time I get married?”


Belle intends to wear the traditional white, which she notes will likely match everyone’s government-mandated air masks. As for food? “Heart-shaped nutrient blocks and recycled water.” Aww!


Belle’s future bridesmaids have already been informed of their obligation.


“There’s my best friend JJ, Lara from dance, and my cousins,” said Belle. “I have backups for the cousins just to be safe, though, since they live in Florida and may not make it through the inevitable weather disasters yet to come.”



As for the groom, Belle envisions a boy who is as nice as her dad, loves dogs, and owns elevated inland property. When asked how she imagined she’d feel on that special day, Belle candidly responded that she’d be “grateful to have been born upper middle class and still alive.”


“I’d love a puppy and sparkly shoes,” the precocious tot admitted on the subject of her registry. “But I’ll probably need clean water, an avocado, maybe a radiation canary.”


Belle’s mother admits to being a little surprised by her daughter’s meticulous planning. “She asked me how her father and I dealt with the problem of limited resources when we got married,” Mrs. Jones says. “When I said it wasn’t really an issue back then, she looked into my eyes and said ‘It should have been.’” Kids really do say the darndest things!


While Belle hopes her parents will be able to make it to her wedding, she recognizes she doesn’t know what life expectancy will be like in the next few decades.


Although she doesn’t expect her parents to pay for it, she admits: “Getting the polar bears back would be cool.”