I think we can all agree here – it’s cold outside. The problem you face now is making it clear that it’s definitely freezing in here and someone should really turn up the heat. Wherever you are right now, use these great tips to make it clear to them that you’d like this room to be about a gazillion degrees warmer because seriously, who chooses to live like this?
1. Show them your goosebumps.
Look at this. Seriously, you’ve got goosebumps on your nose! Is that even possible? You can’t make that shit up. Oh, golly it’s cold!
2. Continue the conversation with chattering teeth.
“I ju-u-ust feel l-i-i-ike SportsCenter repeats stu-u-uff a lo-o-ot.” Make two strong points with one super annoying action.
3. Remind them what season it is a lot.
“You know it’s WINTER, right?” is a great phrase to toss around the second you spot a window cracked or a heater turned off.
4. Go “brrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
Maybe they didn’t hear you when you said all those subtle remarks like, “Is the window open or something?” and “Wow, my toes are numb!” Give them a second chance to get it by just being like, “Brrrrrrrrrrrr!”
5. Weep.
When asked why, just be like “I’m just … so cold.”
6. Make a bunch of really great points.
Are human bodies naturally cold? Or warm-blooded? You know, when you freeze to death, you feel a glow of warmth right before you die. Even cold wants to be warm!
7. Remind them that you don’t love them enough for this kind of abuse.
Remind them that unless they are your one true love, whom you haven’t met yet, then there is no way you love them enough to take this kind of shit. Because it’s freezing in here, and you just can’t keep it together anymore. You’re wrapping up your face in multiple scarves and leaving now.
I think we can all definitely agree that it’s freaking cold in here, and you shouldn’t be the only one aware of that. So make reality known with these to-the-point actions to get the goddamned heat on in this place.
