It’s springtime: time to trade in those winter flannels for complicated floral patterns! Flowery sundresses are a surefire way to put your crush in a dizzying trance and so you can finally hypnotize him into falling in love with you. These colorful patterns will help you work your feminine magic in a way that only floral patterns can! Here are some of the most confusing patterned dresses of the season so you can finally trick him into being The One:
Pussycat London Sun Dress In Floral Border Print (ASOS, $30.00)
So cute! The pattern of this dress is a field of wildflowers that’s so realistic, your crush will think, “Whoa, is she standing in a field of wildflowers? Where am I?” In this moment of confusion, do a little twirl to show off how flouncy your dress is and also to make him think, “I’m totally romantically into her!” Yes, Tim, you are! Keep staring at the flowers!
Betsey Johnson Floral-Print A-Line Midi Dress (Macy’s, $87.99)
This dress looks like a super abstract painting, which is great for hypnotizing guys who like art as well as guys who don’t know what art is. All your crush has to do is stare into the dark magic of your floral bosom before those pretty colors start to make him feel very, very sleepy. As he drifts off, whisper to him, “You want to date me.” When he wakes up, he’s yours! Who’d have thought hypnotism would be this easy?
Veinfuns Floral-print Chiffon Maxi Dress (StyleWe, $92.00)
With this dress, your guy will be wondering where the flowers end and the human woman begins! Of course, you’ll never tell! Wear this maxi-dress on a windy day and as the swirling floral pattern ripples in the breeze, he’ll become so distracted by all the moving colors that BAM, just like that, he’ll be down on one knee proposing to marry you. Let’s just hope he remembers when he comes to!
Striped Floral Challis Sun Dress (Torrid, $40.98)
This one has a double pattern sure to make your crush doubly dizzy! The flowers rest on top of black-and-white stripes, so you know that if the pretty pink flowers don’t make him think, “I love this woman I’ve never met,” the busy stripes are sure to disorient him enough to believe this feeling is actually love at first sight. How cute!
Abstract Floral Scuba Fit-and-Flare Dress (Dress Barn, $50.00)
This gorgeous dress features shades of red that come together in a way that would make any man wonder, “Is that dress pink or red or white or black or am I just falling for the woman wearing it?” Is he bad with colors or just great with being in love with you? It’s definitely the latter!
Rebecca Taylor Tap Floral Midi Dress (Saks Fifth Avenue, $416.50)
Who’d have thought a dress could have so many different types of floral patterns in one? When your dream man catches your eye from across the crowded room, he’ll be so confused by the intricate patterns of your sundress that he’ll have no choice but to commit to you for life, because he’s lost any sense of reality. Sometimes you have to love something in order to truly understand it, so if he wants to figure out this dress, he’ll just have to marry you because it’s going to take a while!
Whether it’s your cute neighbor you’ve been trying to date or just a random man on the street, these hypnotic floral dresses are guaranteed to make the man of your dreams fall deeply in love with you. Happy spring!
