You don’t have to wait for New Year’s Eve to pop open a bottle of champagne! Just make sure there’s a man around to help get that pesky foil off and to safely remove the pressurized cork, because let’s face it: You’d probably take your eye out trying to do this yourself! Here are the most delicious champagnes that you definitely can’t pop open without a man around.
G.H. Mumm Brut Rosé NV ($52)
Treat yourself to a bottle of this bronzy-orange rosé, full of red cherry flavors, yet delicate enough to pair with food. Chill this bottle for 3 to 4 hours before you start pathetically pawing at that stupid wire cage thing. This champagne features a light, appealing scent of aromatic herb that you’ll certainly enjoy—as soon as your husband comes home and shakes his head saying, “You could probably have done this yourself.”
Laurent-Perrier Ultra Brut NV Champagne ($46)
The perfect plus-one for holiday dinner parties, champagne aficionados describe this brut as “bone-dry,” like your throat after two hours of angrily beating the bottle on the kitchen counter hoping nobody will hear you. Don’t fret—just ask the host’s husband to open it. Say something like “Would you do the honors?” to make it look smooth. If you’re drinking this alone, you’re out of luck. At least this bottle is pretty!
Champagne Piper-Heidsieck 2006 Vintage Brut ($60)
This 2006 Vintage Brut gives off enticing aromas of dried apricot, blackberry and a hint of baking spices—all trapped inside a pesky airtight bottle. To reach the smoked tea and toasted almond flavor on the inside, you could always try placing a hand towel over the cork and giving it a good twist. But when that doesn’t work and you have to hand it over to your boyfriend to open, just make sure to cover your ears to protect against that scary popping sound and his loud sighs of frustation.
Champagne Perrier-Jouët NV Grand Brut ($51)
This bubbly offers fresh aromas of tropical fruit, citrus and baking spices. You can almost taste the crisp flavors of apple and lemon on your tongue as you jimmy a knife into the cork with the bottle pointed directly at your face. Citrus notes are balanced with rich hints of vanilla and fine bubbles and would leave you with a velvety mouthfeel, if you could ever figure out how to open this bottle without killing yourself. Do you think your ex can come over to lend you a hand, or would that be too weird?
Billecart-Salmon Rose NV Champagne 750ml Bottle ($85)
This is the bottle you pull out when you really want to impress. Billecart-Salmon’s NV Brut Rose is one of the most consistently delicious roses you can watch get warm while you Google “how to open champagne.” Beautifully balanced with layers of red fruit, berries and flowers, this is the perfect champagne to shyly ask your dad to open at his own retirement party.
G. H. Mumm Champagne Blanc de Blancs Mumm de Cramant ($70)
With a pure, luminous color, sparkling with fine, delicate bubbles, this champagne is just as visually appealing as it tasty! The elegant flavor and smooth body are good for a variety of occasions. Bring a bottle to your office Christmas party and see if you can open it using a mini stapler. Or, if you’d rather enjoy it solo, wait until the mailman comes around 3 p.m. and ask him to open it.
Whether headed to a big celebration or simply having a quiet evening at home with your honey, these delicious and full-bodied champagnes will convince everyone that you’re fancy enough for their party, but still weak enough to need a man!
