6 Crystals That Will Make Your Psychic Think You Have Your Shit Together

We’ve all been there: Another visit with your psychic creeps up on you and you realize your aura is a total shitshow. And lets not even get started on those chakras! But just because your energy field is a hot mess doesn’t mean your most trusted spiritual advisor has to think it’s your fault. Give off the impression that you’re totally working on it by bringing one of these crystals with you the next time you head in for a reading.



This purple crystal looks as pretty as it is potent. As the official awakener of the third eye, only a girl with her shit together and her eye on the spiritual prize would be carting around one of these bad boys. Be sure to cleanse it with sage before you see your psychic—but don’t cleanse too much or she’ll assume you haven’t been using it enough.



You are a sexual and creative being and not afraid to show it! Or at least you want people to think so. There’s no better stone than the orangey-pink carnelian for enhancing your tepid sexuality; or in your case, giving off the appearance that you’re really trying!



Solar. Plexus. Purger. Yes, you read right. This green goddess could help you heal deep emotional issues and release old traumas when placed on your solar plexus. That is if you had your shit together and were actually doing your crystal work. Convince your psychic that you are doing the best you can and that your aura was just way more messed up to begin with. Maybe she’ll take pity on you and give you a discount rate.




Also known as the warrior stone, this rock is literally the opposite of you. It would have never cried during that Miller Lite commercial and doesn’t apologize when other people bump into it. That’s exactly why you should’ve already been using it instead of grabbing it right before you see your psychic.



An oldy but a goody, quartz will give off the impression that you are a no-nonsense spiritual practitioner and not just another mess of a person who grabbed a bunch of rocks at their local metaphysical store on the way over to her in hopes of getting a quick fix.


When used with respect and intention, any of the crystals listed above will help convince your psychic that you have your shit together, and aren’t just using her to find out when you’ll get a boyfriend. Good luck!