5 Smoothie Recipes to Make Your Butt Fly Off and Shoot Toward the Moon

If you’re looking to shed some junk from your trunk, these smoothies will have you feeling more energized, confident, and focused, and will also make your butt fly right off your body and shoot straight for the moon. No foolin’! Here’s how to get your blend on and your butt outta sight:


The Green Queen

This delicious combination of greens is full of benefits for your energy, metabolism, and your butt will tear off your body so fast you won’t even notice it happening. Watch it zoom away as you enjoy your instant weight-loss. Will your butt come down from the moon? Ours haven’t yet.



1 cup kale

1 cup lettuce

1 cucumber, unpeeled

Squeeze of lime


Blend together. Pour over ice and sip. Relax as your butt detaches from your body. Watch your butt as it soars upward into the sky, flames through Earth’s atmosphere, and continues its journey toward the crescent moon. Goodbye, butt!



The Power Up

You’ll feel like a queen after indulging in this perfect morning concoction. Not to mention, as soon as you take a sip, your behind will be in orbit!



1 cup orange juice

2 cups watermelon chunks

1 medium banana


Combine all ingredients in a blender and pulse until smooth. Let your butt rip clear off your body, blow a hole in your roof, and disappear up into space. (It sounds painful, but it’s actually not.) Hasta la vista, butt!


The Fire Starter

This savory surprise will expand your definition of smoothie, and it’ll start a fire in your butt that won’t go out until it hits the cold, gray surface of that big rock in the sky.



½ can beef broth

2 stalks celery

½ can pinto beans

Dash cayenne pepper


Blend with immersion blender until blended. Remove your pants, if you like them. Let your butt fly off like a startled bronco, exploding into space, and leaving a new crater on the moon’s surface. Ouch, this one hurts a little, but man is it fun to watch your own butt shine like a firework in the sky!


The Cleansernator

Part cleanse, part butt terminator. Except your butt won’t be back! It’ll up on the moon, with the butts of the hundreds of other women that can’t get enough of this fruity delight!



2 large carrots


1/3 cup red grapes

10 raspberries


Blend carrots and water on high, then fold in grapes and raspberries on low. Stick your butt out a window. Let it shoot into the moon like a nuclear missile. Catch ya later, butt! Have fun on the moon!


Time to hit the kitchen, get healthy, and confuse the shit out of NASA! You go, girl!