5 Signs You’re Actually Dating Your Father

Father's Day - Reductress

You know how the old adage goes, “Marry a man who is like your father.” You’ve always done everything right in life, which leads you to wonder: Is this guy I’ve been dating my actual father? Here are seven telltale signs that that man holding your hand is actually the man who raised you:


He Reminds You A Lot of Your Dad

He has your father’s laugh, his smile, and his unusual gait. No wonder you were attracted to him! The problem is, he could be your dad, so if he has things in common with your dad like birth marks, tattoos, or DNA, you better look into that a bit more.


Your Mother Absolutely Loves Him

Your mom just absolutely lights up whenever your boyfriend comes to dinner with you two. This is where you really need to ask yourself: Is she happy that you’ve finally found the right guy, or is she happy because she has been happily married to this guy for 30 years and had sex with him a lot? You haven’t been having sex with him, right? This guy is probably your dad.


He Makes Corny Dad Jokes That Are Really Specific To Your Upbringing

Did you remember Dad saying things like, “Velcro, what a rip-off…?” Is your beau saying things like that, but with really eerie specifics like, “You loved to play with the Velcro on your baby shoes?” Remember, any old boyfriend wouldn’t know things like that and wouldn’t have been around for that. You’re probably dating your dad.



You Find Comfort In His Familiarity

There’s something about his smell that just reminds you of pancakes on Saturday morning growing up. That’s probably because your dad would make you pancakes, and this guy is your dad. How the fuck did you not realize this?


The Holidays Have Been Pretty Weird So Far

Something wasn’t quite right at Thanksgiving, but you’re not sure why. All you did was kiss your boyfriend at dinner and grab his leg underneath the table whenever people would go all silent and say, “Excuse me, I need to leave. I don’t support this at all.” Things were pretty weird this holiday season, and it might be because that was your dad’s thigh. You should have probably noticed that. You are dating your actual father.


We all make mistakes – especially in dating – so don’t beat yourself up if you’ve realized that you followed the rules too literally. Forgive yourself first, then text your dad and let him know that it isn’t personal, but you need to see other people now. He’ll understand…he’s your dad, after all!