Just because you’re being pounded in the other room doesn’t mean you can’t be polite to the people sharing your living space! If your sexual preferences are on the kinkier, louder side, a cute safe word might prevent your roommates from regretting their decision to extend the lease. By adding a little charm and grace to your extreme coitus, before you know it, they’ll be welcoming the next acquaintance that shows up at 2 AM to tie you up and torture you on the other side of their thin plaster walls.
“Kittens!”
Who doesn’t get the warm and fuzzies at the mention of kittens? This safe word will lull your roommates into a peaceful slumber, while simultaneously letting your partner know your fuzzy handcuffs are a little too tight. Just remember not to yell, “Bad Kitty!” or they may think you’re abusing the cat.
“Adele!”
Since they share your enthusiasm for the singer, your roommates will love hearing you yell “Adele” from the other side of your closet-sized apartment. This is sure to remind them of heart-wrenchingly beautiful ballads instead of that time they accidentally walked in on the weird stuff you were doing and didn’t make eye contact with you for a few days thereafter.
“Spider!”
Spiders are gross. Too gross to even contemplate. Shriek “spider” and your roommates will sink into a state of fear deep enough so as not to hear any additional noises you make. And they will not open your door out of concern this time.
“Mo-om!”
Why not set your roommates’ minds at ease by letting them think you’re just on an angry phone call with your mom? They’ll never guess that it’s your partner forgetting which toys aren’t flared enough to go into your butthole AGAIN.
“Sex!”
Who are we kidding? They know what you’re doing. Just send a clear signal that if they want to avoid any weird dreams about you, they should put their headphones on for the rest of the night.
For additional tips, feel free to ask your roommates directly which words they’d like to pretend aren’t shattering the tranquility of your apartment on a regular basis.
