We may live in a country with social mobility, but the rules of dating still resemble the caste system of India. In America, you’re judged on looks, finances, power, intellect and education. Don’t score very high on those criteria? Here’s how to date way outside of your own kind of average, not-so-impressive league:
1. DON’T say words like “Classy”
Nobody of noble birth says this. Use classier words connoting the same idea, like sophisticated, noblesse oblige, Truffaut, Schopenhauer, or “the Ballet.” Other words to avoid include: Funyuns; Olive Garden; Fancy.
2. Hobnob with the best and brightest socialites.
Impress your fancy beau with this old rom-com trick: crash the hottest party in town by posing as wait staff. Avoid the urge to make crude, sexual gestures with the lobster eggs benedict.
3. Constantly wear a power suit.
Wear it all the time; you never know when you’re going to run into someone from the upper crust. While on a date, casually take riding trophies out of your breast pocket and place them inconspicuously on the table. He might just get the hint.
4. Memorize all the countries and their capitals.
If he says, “Have you been to Rome?” you can say, “No, but it is the capital of Italy.” He’ll raise his eyebrows and say, “A toast to your charm and astute knowledge of geography.”
5. Be a free spirited do-gooder who constantly challenges the status quo.
But never actually do that. Make sure you’re not a zealot either, and let him know that your brand of human-rights activism will make an exception for the manufacturing district of Kuala Lumpur, where his father resides on the boards of trustees of three major chemical plants.
The true key to dating above you is attitude. Act like you belong and they’ll assume they’ve missed some reason as to you’re being there (in their bed).
