Just when you think your relationship is going super well, things start to go sour and lead toward a breakup. Whether it’s their fault or yours, this is a perfect opportunity to talk as much shit as possible and put the blame squarely on the other person. If you’re not yet ready to accept that relationships are complicated and you maybe just weren’t a good fit for each other, here are the five perfect insults you can throw at them instead of just acknowledging that humans are inherently flawed and relationships are incredibly complex:
“Asshole”
Sure, you had a pretty healthy six-month-long relationship and mutual respect for each other the whole time, but that’s all out the window now! One time, he said that he didn’t really like your shirt when you asked him what he thought about it, even though you secretly didn’t like it either. Yeah, what a fucking asshole!
“Munch”
Call him a “munch” when you tell your friends you weren’t even feeling him, even though you definitely were. He obviously wasn’t worth your time or energy, and this is a great way to show it, even though he could probably say the same about you, TBH.
“Loser”
He’s definitely a loser because he lost YOU, girl! He might’ve been pretty nice and great at effectively communicating that it wasn’t going to work out between you two for perfectly normal reasons, but you’re onto bigger and better things now, babe! It’s time to only date winners now, unless it doesn’t work out with any of them either, then they’re all losers, too.
“Scrub”
TLC really hit the nail on the head with this one, because why did a scrub like him even think he had a chance with someone like you, a literal goddess who doesn’t have time to play games? You’d probably still be dating him now if he didn’t move across the country for an amazing job opportunity that he’d been working toward his entire adult life, but it still holds true.
“Monster”
This one might be a little harsh, but if the shoe fits! After all, who doesn’t text someone back for a whole 6 hours? You two might have only seen each other for a couple weeks, and you also stopped responding to him when he got back to you, but who doesn’t know how to communicate in 2023? That’s right — literal goblins.
Have fun absolutely demolishing your ex with these five names that will make everyone in your vicinity know just how bad of a person he really was. But don’t forget to bring up all of his good traits when your friends try to get on the hate train!
