5 Balloon Jeans That Will Help You Finally Seduce the Old Guy From ‘Up’

I Heard You Balloon Mom Jeans (Fashion Nova, $32.99)

What more could Carl want than a woman whose legs look like two giant balloons? With these jeans, you’ll be his wildest dream come true, y’know except for his wife coming back to life or something, but fuck that bitch! He’s yours now!