4 Talking Points to Help Your Boyfriend ‘Get’ Hozier  

So your boyfriend claims to not “get” the pure of heart Irish singer-songwriter that is Hozier. It’s a conundrum as old as the blues and indie rock artist’s career, but your boyfriend certainly doesn’t have to lose out on the experience of learning how to enjoy his work. Here are some talking points you can employ to help your poor boyfriend finally understand the musical stylings of Andrew John Hozier-Byrne. No, seriously, give it a chance:

 

Irony will get you nowhere.

Hozier is the only person on the planet Earth who means everything he says. What does he mean when he says his lover is the giggle at a funeral? He means that his lover is the giggle at a goddamn funeral. There is not a trace of irony in Hozier’s body, and there’s no room for a trace of irony in the consumption of his music. Hozier isn’t a person in a felt brimmed hat; he is the felt brimmed hat.

 

Stop trying to understand.

If you’re claiming to “not get” or understand Hozier, you’ve already missed the point. There is more than meets the eye only in the sense that once you see there is no more than meets the eye, you will see everything. Let his moody and subtly erotic lyrics wash over you. “Lay me gently in the cold dark earth,” Hozier says. Lay yourself down in the cold dark earth, and maybe there you will be released from your petty fears of what it means to let yourself enjoy the work of a man who writes excruciatingly sincere love songs and looks like he’s worn suspenders to a wedding.

 

 

Probably a gentle yet passionate lover.

Explain to your jaded shell of a boyfriend that you would never sexualize Hozier because only Hozier can sexualize himself, but that it’s pretty obvious that he’s probably a gentle yet passionate lover.

 

Hozier is 6’6”.

Does this make sense?

 

So roll out these talking points with your benumbed bf and maybe he, too will have his life improved by the (white) (contemporary) king of soul. Hozier: He’s a good man.