Supplements are a great way to feel like you’re giving your body what it needs. Whether you’re taking supplements to meet a specific goal like shinier hair, or for your general health, your body is going to go ahead and just pee them out. So go on and grab onto the illusion of control with these four water-soluble supplements that you will put into your mouth then piss into the toilet immediately!
Biotin
Biotin is one of the most popular supplements, and for good reason (it comes in cute gummies and hot girls promote it a lot on Instagram). For glowing skin, hair, and nails, B7 is absolutely the vitamin of beauty, and whatever isn’t absorbed into your tissues for immediate use will go straight out your peehole next time you hit the porcelain throne! You can’t have too much of a good thing, but you can piss out too much of a good thing that you bought for $60 in a brown glass bottle because it preyed on your deepest fears about growing old.
Vitamin C
Feeling under the weather? Then get that placebo effect rolling and take some vitamin C! Why not? You’d basically need to have a degree in nutrition and fully understand bioavailability to administer this in a way that would have any positive impact on your body, but sometimes swallowing stuff is just fun!
Iron
Have a little iron with your morning coffee then pee them both out within 15 minutes! You’re gonna feel dizzy when you stand up no matter what, but at least if you’re taking this you can say, “I’m kind of trying!”
Vitamin D
Skip your mouth and pop this bad boy directly in your urethra! We’re not judging you; you’re doing what you need to do.
So try these supplements even though they don’t work and you can’t cheat death or the need to eat nutrients! At the end of the day, these are just an excuse to linger in the Whole Foods health and beauty aisle — and that’s valid!
