‘Tis the season for getting smell-goods in your stocking! However, not everything will make you feel like a slim, striped little holiday treat. Obviously you want everyone to want to put you in their mouths and bite-suck until you slowly become a sharp point (yes? no? do you want that?), so try these delectable peppermint body washes!
1. Twisted Peppermint Shower Gel (Bath & Body Works, $12.50)
Ooh, la la! This minty liquid is going to make you minty and slick, like a candy cane that’s just been licked. You can’t go wrong with Bath & Body Works; the original purveyor of peppermint body products. They have everything you need to make you feel like a very petite candy cane that’s living right where it belongs.
2. OGX Invigorating Teatree Peppermint (Walgreens, $7.99)
All hail the Mint Queen! This all-natural body scrub is going to have you thinking, “Have I lost weight, or have I just become a small, red and white treat that a child could fit in the palm of their hand after sitting on the lap of Father Christmas?” The answer: both! You can eat this body wash ‘cuz it doesn’t have any calories ‘cuz there aren’t any nutrition facts on the bottle. Look at you, ya lil’ shrink-wrapped sugar stick!
3. Burt’s Bees Fabulously Fresh Peppermint and Rosemary Body Wash (Bed Bath & Beyond, $7.99)
We know what you’re saying: “Huh? This peppermint body wash also says rosemary, therefore it is a holiday lie!” Fear not, little friends. It is minty all the same, meaning that you’ll still feel forever changed from your bulbous human form to a tiny, delicate candy cane that anyone could easily smash into bits while rummaging through their winter coat pockets where you were residing.
4. Philosophy Peppermint Stick Shower Gel (Macy’s, $17)
The most prized of all peppermint body washes: that which is only sold in fancy department stores! You will feel like the belle of the candy cane ball after rubbing this chemical potion on your body with water. Your stem? Unbroken. Your stripes? Ever true. Your curve? Dangerous. You are the most teensy-weensy of all candy canes, and only found in the finest of stockings—most likely from Anthropologie!
So there you have it: four of the most exquisite peppermint body washes to take you from “lame” to “candy cane”. Merry Christmas, tee hee!
