Lots of young people’s sexual awakenings begin with a certain cartoon character – but what about those of us who developed feelings for an understated but sensually charged character later in life? Perhaps one with funky patterned outfits, a strong, sexy nose, and a thick, illustrious head of hair? We’ve all been there, but it isn’t easy. Here are four heavy cocktails to help you grapple with the fact that you sexually attracted to Ms. Frizzle:
Bijou
This nothing-but-alcohol cocktail gets right to the point just as you imagine Ms. Frizzle would in your fantasies where she approaches you in a bar. A blend of gin, green Chartreuse, and sweet vermouth make this potent drink a deep sunset golden-orange, not unlike the thick and wild waves of the alluring and learned Ms. Frizzle who you would make your wife given the opportunity. Wow, not even drunk yet and that was right there at the surface.
Distillery drop
Vodka, Gingercello, and lemon juice. That’s all you need for this stiff drink that’s sure to help you contend with your active sexual desire for beloved’s children’s cartoon character, Ms. Frizzle. She was so kind and curious, yet also authoritative. All quirky outfits and sweet smiles but get her behind the wheel of a 25 thousand pound bus and she still knows exactly what she’s doing. Dreamgirl tier. Whew.
Godfather
Whiskey and amaretto on the rocks make up this timeless cocktail. This strong, smoky drink is indeed inspired by the classic film of the same name. Speaking of movies, did you know Elizabeth Banks is playing Ms. Frizzle in the live-action remake? Yeah, that’s not going to do you any favors in terms of kicking this thing. You know what Elizabeth Banks’ voice sounds like, right? Good luck to you.
Manhattan
Okay, we all know what a Manhattan is, can we talk about the fact that Ms. Frizzle is a lesbian? She’s clearly dressing for the girls, voiced by Lily Tomlin, those gay-ass earrings, and a pet lizard?? Please. Toss back this bevy and accept that your sexual attraction to Ms. Frizzle isn’t just normal, it’s basically ordained.
Now that you have the perfect cocktail to fully reckon with this information, go forth and yearn!
