4 Frogs I Kissed Hoping They’d Turn Into a Prince but Instead They Filed Restraining Orders

After Little Isador slapped a restraining order on my ass I was in a tough spot. I couldn’t go within 100 yards of the swamp which is also my thinking spot, so I couldn’t meet any frogs and I couldn’t think of any other ways to meet frogs. But, as fate would have it, I found Beecher in the woods. He was a squat amphibian with nothing behind his eyes and I kissed him without asking. Now if you’re thinking: Ever heard of consent? Yeah, duh, who hasn’t? But how can you get consent from a frog that can’t speak? I know that in the story of the Frog Prince, the frog could speak, but that’s just unrealistic. If a witch is gonna turn a handsome prince into a frog in 2022, she’s not gonna endow him with language. So yeah, not my fault, but that was restraining order number two.